Man i have seen this attacks on telly and i absolutely have no idea how to stop one. Me, if you mentioned there was a bomb in the building i would take off so fast that the motion created by my speed would neutralise the bomb…..am a genius.
Or if i was in westgate i would have jumped on the burning mattresses….i mean right before they were set on fire!
But seriously, some time back i witnessed a serious attack, not of similar magnitude but an attack all the same.
I was strolling along Luthuli Avenue in downtown Nairobi (anything downtown is from Tom Mboya Street, River Roro and Grogan…..Mama Ngina, Kenyatta Ave, Loita zina wenyewe).
Incase you are reading this and you are not familiar with Swahili, zina weneyewe means ‘they have their owners’……..if you can’t understand this please see a dentist.
Where were we? Yes, Luthuli Avenue. A few meters from the famous Ramogi studio. The famous joint which used to sell fries at 20 bob is adjacent to the studio. Only people who used to tarmac in the 90s and early 2000s would know this joint; if you are not familiar with it basi wewe ni babi flani!!
Am walking directly opposite these epic establishments heading to college (i was studying for a degree in MS Word 95 and proficiency in MS DOS). A man dressed in a suit and a cheap tie had walked past the studio heading towards River Road. Not that i had made any notice of him but the events that happened soon after attracted a lot of attention to him…and his cheap tie.
The following events happen in real time.
Man in a suit and cheap tie is walking briskly along the street, dude probably was on his way from making a bank withdrawal. 3 hood rats jump from nowhere….really, nowhere. One grabs his neck, i heard a gasp of fearful air escape his now occupied throat. The second bad guy starts punching him furiously on his ribs and stomach (kutoa hewa) while the third empties all his pockets. They drop him and disappear just the same way they came, leaving the poor dude desperately trying to catch some air. It was over in no time, it’s like they already knew what they wanted and where to look.
Now, i should have done something about it but this is Nairobi, you never know just how many other bad guys are there just waiting for you to try a Makmende (totally has nothing to with a cockroach) and they show you fire.
“Wuwu..nisaidieni,” he cried out. His pockets were all inside out and torn pretty bad. It was traumatic to even look at him. This are things that can even make Kim Jong Li shed a tear.
Me and hundreds of other Nairobians just looked on.
The police (not that they would have helped) were nowhere in sight.
“Wameiba kila kitu….woooiiii!” a screaming man is a pitiful sight. If i hear a man screaming i know things are not about just flipping burgers…..i head the opposite direction fast as i can.
I swear, a long time ago i almost slashed my knee into half and i didn’t even utter a word, and i was only 12!! Come on man, be a man!
I was touched. He was all messed up, his cheap tie flying along the same way his emotions were. I thought he had not even taken lunch. Perhaps he would just have to walk home after that incident.
It really got me thinking about doing some kick ass martial arts just so that i will be ready should i be attacked the same way.
So heed my advice, when you walk in downtown Nairobi and you see a group of red eyed youth wearing safari boots, tight jeans and walking really fast, know they are men on a mission…and their mission that day just might be you…..
Don’t say i didn’t warn you!