Ghetto Gospel


Ok, i absolutely have no idea why i came up with this title. Some will think am inspired by the late Tupac. He got shot when i was just about to clear primary school (yes sir, am that old) and we mourned him.

Don’t tell my mum this but i almost got a thug life tattoo on my tummy…too bad my ribs were sticking out (i was a rather skinny lad in my heyday) and out of pity the tattoo artist declined to thug life me; nothing fancy, just a fella with an Oxford geometrical divider.

But if it makes you happy you can still tell my mum. Her digits are at the end of this article!

Now, back to the matter at hand.

Meeting women can herald both glad and not so glad tidings. As u may have witnessed, my life has totally changed since i met Michelle; she is the cute girl who had the guts to point out that my socks had been munched by a rodent.

I got blasted by a 6 year old than got thrashed by anti riot police, all in the same day.

Damn, i forgot what i was to write about; see how women make our minds to stray? (i hope am speaking for all men here).

Ghetto gospel was the issue. Remember i had mentioned about the laundry i had left to dry as i headed for the demons (all pun {ishment} intended). I came back home badly thrashed and did not even notice that all was not well on the clothesline.

I may have made a note of it at the back of my mind as an agenda to be revisited once i had nursed my injuries but i guess the sticky note flew away with the wind.

So am peeping out of the window coz i wanted to put on my favourite beige shirt and i can’t see my clothes. Quickly, i “beat mathematics” of Pythagoras theorem and Carrey Francis; buying a whole new wardrobe will not be easy with the income from Naomi my boss (some hot yellow yellow item i had assisted in propelling her company to exponential growth). We used to sell DVDs and MP3s to hawkers on River Rori.

That being the case, i would resort to interchanging the one pair of pants i had worn that day and the two shirts that were hanging on a nail behind the bedroom door.

This was disheartening.

I decided to go out and see for myself to believe my clothes were gone. Well, to my relief they were all there BUT (read it in caps, like you have a mic) they had been piled on top of each other at the far end of the nylon clothes line in a manner that was not orderly, and all the pegs were missing.

In their place was a whole bunch of yellowing nappies…..i am no expert on child poop management but i thought nappies were no longer in use, they are too analog!

If this has ever happened to you am sure you know it’s very unpleasant. Somebody, one of my neighbours (this was the work of a woman) had pushed all my clothes along the line towards the end. Normally when this happens, they are left with a stubborn line where the nylon passes, a line that does not come off even after thorough ironing.

Michelle passed by skipping to a kindergarten song, “bah bah black sheep”, i was pretty sure she knew who did it, so i asked her; another terrible mistake!

“Mimi sio watchman!!”

Uuuurghh!!!! Women!!

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2 thoughts on “Ghetto Gospel

  1. hehe i like that Michelle 🙂 Clothes pile up, never been a victim of that but iv been known to transfer people’s clad especially if they are dry and just occupying space 😉 Good light post.

    Love the title too.

    • What?You are known to do that? Someone should warn the neighbours!!! yah, Michelle is quite a drama princess..i appreciate your comments and time you took to read my post.Hey, we were supposed to do an article about mau mau together, right?

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