FIFA will honor me today!


I am 32 today, was born 9 world cups ago. Italy won the 1982 world cup 3-1 against West Germany at the Santiago Bernabeu. Tonight Italy play Costa Rica in a game i will be obviously supporting Italia. I mean, i have a history with them…i feel like FIFA is honouring me on my birthday! This is freaking special.

So am 32. Do i feel 32? Am not sure, i just know am 8 years short of 40. My life is 8 years away from ‘beginning’ if what they say about life beginning at 40 is true. Either way i always wanted to be 32 (did i just say that?).

Lest you forget, ’82 was the same year Senoir Private Hezekiah Ochuka, the man who ruled Kenya for six hours and a bunch of Kenya Airforce soldiers wanted to overturn…no, overthrow former president Moi’s Nyayo regime. Overturn makes it sound like a bucket! As history has taught you, Ochuka and Co. failed. so, i was born in the back drop of such historic events.

We have come a long way, so has the world cup. I obviously did not watch the ’82 World cup but i did get a glimpse of Italia ’90….told you i have a history with Italy! West Germany won 1-0 against Argentina. I didn’t watch this either but i saw pictures everyday in the newspaper; i was only 8 but i knew something big was happening somewhere in the world. My Uncle Kenny was a footballer so i was well updated…he was our whatsapp, FaceBook and Twitter in 1990 on matters football.

The reason i did not watch Italia ’90 is coz we didn’t have a TV. Grandpa had a 2 Band radio and if i remember correctly we followed updates over Radio BBC. Waithera my mother bought us a tiny black and white telly before USA ’94 so we could catch all the games.

We still didn’t catch all games. You see, there was no electricity in the village back then so our telly and a few other tellies in the village were all powered by batteries. People with Tvs were famous in the village, they were respected and held in great awe. They wielded such power that you would lick their boots just to watch the evening news or football……and WWF. Oh you would plead with them to let you watch WWF! If you misbehaved in their house they had the power to label you Persona non grata, mara hio hio!

Some would even release their dog when they knew it was Tuesday and you wanted to watch WWF.

I swear back then there were tellies you could power using around 12 Eveready torch batteries only they wouldn’t last for long.

The battery used to last for utmost 1 week after which Nelly and i had to take it for charging at a place that had electricity; that was around 2.5 KM away, the same place we used to take milk every morning and evening.
Powering a telly using a battery was a tricky affair. Normally, when the charge was going down the image on the screen would start decreasing gradually from the edges. At times it would appear as curves, then it would start shaking, the image that is. It got tinier by the day and images would start looking funny, like people would appear as zigzags and you could never follow anything. The sound remained intact though!

Baethewei those were the days of some crazy sitcoms with those applauses and laughter in the background. Back then i think they were performed before a live audience. So in days when the batt would be down and the sitcom was going on Nelly and i would still laugh coz the people on telly were laughing, inasmuch they appeared as zigzags on the screen.

Before finally taking the batt for charging we would attach a long nail on the DC cable and dip it in one of the 6 battery cells. The image would fill up the screen but only for like an hour, then back to the zigzagging!

But still life was great in the 90s, things were real, there was real socialising that will always be better than our modern day social media which is anything but social. We had no socialites in the 90s, or at least as far as i knew there weren’t any. Women in those days were real, they never went on diet or bleached their skins. Their butts and hips were real, no cellulite sijui silicon implants bulleish.

Even football was different. People loved and cherished the game. Nowadays we mostly have fanatics and too many young millionaires in the game, young men who make such huge monthly salaries they would adequately enough to support the yearly budget of Guatemala. These boys are like canvas, too many tattoos, too much drama on/off the field and the clothes are too tight.

Am not lying, the shorts these footballers are wearing are especially too tight. i guess that’s why women are sooo into football nowadays. Remember the uniform Cameroon (they embarrassed us in their game against Croatia yesterday)had in South Africa world cup? Goodness, they (uniforms) made them look like moving sculptures done in ancient Rome!

I saw this player a in a recent game (no, not in my Italia), his short was a rather tight, he was running and something was swinging in his shorts….i guess it was just a pendulum he must have forgotten to remove. But no, the pendulums i know do not swing that way!

So basically i think a lot has changed, even the good old beautiful game of football. I would give anything to relive the 90s, life was great and i would have loved my kid to live in those times.

PS: Am losing my hair fast, too fast. Am balding from the back and front. Is this even normal?

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