In a previous post women barbers, i started with the intention of writing about the saddest moment to ever occur in Nyeri High School while we was doing time there. Mid post, Liz the 5 ft chic with an inflated thorax interrupted the flow……
Well, today is still not the day that i write about that sad moment. Today i will go through some epic moments in Nyeri High which made boarding school life bearable:
1. Goodbye England’s Rose.
The year was ’97, the world was in shock at the passing on of Princess Diana. We in Kenya were not overly mournful but in Nyeri high the administration gave us a day off to watch the funeral proceedings on Telly, a black and white telly fixed in the Dining hall.
Felt good, having a mid week break, especially coz i wasn’t so fond of Math classes. I remember Tanyai O beast, my Handler was seated with me in the dining Hall watching the proceedings. He gave me a banana which he must have yanked from a mono the previous evening.
And FYI Princess Diana was not a trustee of Nyeri High…just so you know!
2. Oil up, boys!
Layering the hardly delicious bean stew aka Mbokio in Nyeri High’s kitchen with some kerosene was quite popular, meant to cool down the ‘sexual fire’ in the approx 400 teenage boys.
There was this one time in first term when the Drama and Cultural club was left behind while the rest of the school departed for the April Hols. The Zonals of the National Drama festivals were being held at Nyeri High.
The food to be served for the 3 day period was supposed to be the best with the shiniest top layer. The dining hall bell rang and we rushed to have our lunch so we could get back to socialising with the numerous chics who were in attendance.
The food looked lovely from afar, appetising actually. I mean, the top layer was all shiny and inviting……felt soo good to have the rest of the students away!
A quick first bite and the entire Drama troupe was up protesting, the bean stew was yuck, tasted of kerosene….it was like a kerosene tanker had emptied its contents on the food.
If this had happened on a regular day we would have protested furiously, probably stoned the school bus or staffroom. The kitchen was all stone with wide spaces where windows were supposed to be, so it would have made no sense stoning it….
We just ate plain ugali and went back to Mathenge Hall for the proceedings. That was however marked in our calendars as an atrocity committed on the boy child….we however never got a chance to revenge!
3. She got her game on!
So our new principal Mr. Mungai, nicknamed BB (Bomb Blast since he came after the August 7th bombing in Nairobi) stamped his principality in Nyeri High by introducing some crazy rules of his own in a bid to step into the ‘unsteppable’ shoes of infamous disciplinarian and immediate former principal Father Hillary Wambugu aka Kahia.
Among the rules was that every teacher should fix themselves in at least one of the many sports we had. He had made an observation that most teachers never participated in the sports they were patrons of.
Take for instance the rugby team patron, a certain Mr whoever, can’t recall the name though he used to shrub a lot. His paunch was extensive and i am pretty sure he knew very little about the game. He had a funny walking style, like a massive Monitor lizard on two feet! Oh, and he once had the funniest conversation with a female on phone…..
“Harooooo…..is that Poreen (Pauline)?”
“Can you guess the herr (hell) who is corrin (calling)?
“Hehehehe……(rubs paunch, hand drops spontaneously to his crotch)…..ne tisha (teacher)!!”
Then we had perhaps who may have been the ‘hottest’ teacher around, a slim, stern faced beauty with long, beautiful legs perched on a pair of stilettos…..her nickname was ‘Manyanga’ which loosely translated is supposed to mean drop dead gorgeous. Everyone would have joined even the most ridiculous sport if she was to be practising with the team.
Then Mrs Mathenge aka Gusto, some hot mama who was the drama teacher as well. Her grammar was perfect and she had an accent which she most definitely did not get just by being in Nyeri.
Fate chose Gusto for the volleyball team. 275 boys now wanted to join the team, just so they could check her out as she raised her arms to serve the ball. Her tits would probably bounce and…..aaah, never mind, exercise your imagination there…
4. Pump up the volume!
Entertainment in school was a tad boring prior to the introduction of a Sony 3 CD changer which became the talk of the school for an entire week in a relatively calm Nyeri High.
By the time it was introduced, Kevin Kori was the entertainment captain.
Oh, and Baethewei the slot for entertainment captains and their assistants was never available for boys born and raised in rural areas like Mukurweini, Chinga, Maragua etc, it was only reserved for urban kids who owned CD changers and TVs with remote controls and played video games and basketball/rugby. Kids who had the 90s swag!
The music system was launched in one of the science labs as we all crowded to at least catch a glimpse of the booming monster. On that particular day, the administration allowed the boom twaff to disturb the cool Nyeri air much to the joy of the students.
That day we played Ruff Ryders Anthem so many times, that and Eve’s Gotta Girl we almost crammed all the words and choreography, especially akina DMX showing off their Abs!
But i tell you what, all this and more epic moments faded in comparison to what was to happen one cold night in the year 99!