Socks, Sin and a short lady.


Am certain you know about PTSD. Others call it PTS leaving out the Disorder. It’s the kind of disorder mostly experiencd by soldiers after they return home from war. The nasty events tend to haunt them every night. Now, i wanna let you in on some info….i suffered from PTS for sometime after i left Nyeri High….Today am gonna tell you all about it. And no, it’s not coz of the food, kawaida 6 lashes at the deputy’s or the food; it’s something else totally different, a Sin…….

There are different types of sins (wow, i sound like a cleric, right?). Some are big, others are small and there is punishment for all. The punishment may or may not differ.

Take for instance eating pork, which is prohibited in the Old Testament and Qur’an. You know you cannot say that you have committed a lesser sin by eating a malnourished pig and a bigger sin if the said animal is fleshier etc etc. The sin is the same.

Or when someone is waist deep in his sins and he feels like he is at a point where there is no hope. People around him think he is heading straight to hell in a hand basket, so he is like, “aah, i have eaten the whole bull, why not eat up the tail too?”

But am not here to preach or be judgmental, no. Am here to tell you about a particular Sin. A sock was involved as well. This Sin thing haunted me for years in form of nightmares.

Allow me to take you back to my earlier days in Nyeri High, Form 1D. The first time i attended class was the evening preps right after dinner on my debut day as a Monocotyledon. First guy i saw was Ephantus seated on the first row seriously reading through some past papers and jotting down notes like there was no tomorrow.

That scared me kiasi. I mean, here i am with absolutely no idea what i was gonna do for preps, and there was Ephantus studying so hard as if he was seating National exams the next day. I almost thought he had repeated Form 1!

Fast forward to end of first term exam. I studied as hard as i could but the examiner showed me no mercy. Guess what i got in my FIRST MATH TEST in high school?

98%? Ummmm, no. That’s for Astro-Nuts!

78%? Hahaha, are you kidding me?

50%? Getting close……..

Close your eyes and wait for it…..

22%!

Yes, that’s not a typing error or the temperature of Nairobi in Degrees Centigrade; that’s what i got in my math test.

Was i ashamed? Very much…Buahahaha…nah, just a lito bit!

Those were the budding stages of my Sin story. I will tell you how the Sock was involved.

So from then on i kindof developed an unbeatable streak of scoring an eyebrow raising 02%-10% in all my math tests; mostly the score was for the formula. I just didn’t seem to have a way of deriving the correct/desired answer from the formula.

Actually, i would derive several different answers from the same formula; i just ended up writing the wrong one!

Then came the kind of math problems which made finding x seem like a walk in the park; problems which involved Sin and Cos. Problems that enticed my score to remain below 10%.

If Miss Chira our very very short math teacher was a dramatist, class sessions as she was handing over our scores would have gone something like this:

Miss Chira: “Kelvin, 96%. Keep it up!” Kelvin was the brightest chap in our class. He walks over and picks his paper proudly. I envy him and hope mine is at least an improved 24%.

MC: “Ephantus, 88%. Good work!”

MC: “Mutua, 50%. Pull up your socks.” She looks up to the 6 foot, lanky Mutua. I make a mistake of giggling. She shoots me a bazooka look. I should not have done that.

Other students are called for their papers. Most are also advised to pull up their socks. She accords me the honor of being called last which can be both good and bad. Bad because last is memorable, it’s the LAST image on people’s minds. People will never forget your math test score when you are last. It can be good because, no, it is not good!

MC: “Abu Amirah* (true identity with held for no apparent reason),” she looks me up and down, sneers, looks back at my score, shakes her head in disgust. Turns the paper upside down and sideways just to make sure she is reading the score correctly

“06%! A clear improvement from last time i see!” i walk and pick my paper. Walking back to my locker i can almost feel her piercing look on my back.

“Young man, while others are pulling up their socks you need to put yours on first,” entire class bursts into laughter. “That way at least you can have something to pull up!” More laughter. At that moment am already thinking of an idea for my next English composition. The thought gladdens my heart.

Got me thinking. Why force me to find x while am deft at describing the tone of any work of literature you put before me. i mean, why restrict an Eagle to looking for worms under bushes while its place is in the highest treetop and cliffs?

So for years i used to wake up in the middle of the night all sweaty, heart thumping furiously. The same constant dream of seating a Math paper while i had not revised at all!

 

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8 thoughts on “Socks, Sin and a short lady.

  1. LOL ati you need to put on your socks first,well that is deadly Abu:-) Loved this post. It took me back to my high school days,i was terrible in Maths but in Swa and English, i was the one looking around the class at the people scoring B’s and C;s with so much disgust and disappointment LOL.

    Thumbs up:-)

  2. Pingback: Nyeri High: Dreams, kicks and a weird Nurse. | Akhy Mjanja

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