Polygamy: The elephant in the room.


This week am feeling all lovey dovey, wacha tu; thanks a million Baethewei to all who liked my previous post. Anyone who has been and is in love would understand that even if you literally did a blog spot spread all over the sky you would still need two more skies thereof to fully express your love to that special someone.

We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.

The above statement is very logical (am not certain where the quote is from though) coz marriage is the ultimate exhibition of true love. Society has led us to believe that marriage is a prison of sorts, a hand –cuffed-for-life kinda thing. Makes it sound pretty scary don’t you think?

This outlook however imponderable it might be, is shaped by how someone perceives of the relationships he knows about, among them of course how his/her parents’ marriage was like.

Ladies who grew up seeing their fathers physically abuse their mothers tend to dislike marriage. They actually end up painting all men with the same brush. However much a man tries to show her that not all men are the same and that indeed there are gentlemen besides his father she will still judge him on the one wrong out of a thousand goods.

For instance a man is wont to forget significantly ‘deep meaning’ anniversaries like birthdays, the first time they kissed, first movie they watched a certain movie (Rambo iv!), first time they sat on the balcony naked watching the blushing moon, blah blah blah kind of days. A lady will be freaking mad at you if you forget these!

Now, a lady whose father abused their mother and was never there for her birthdays and the first time she pooped in the potty will, after making sure that you are feeling all guilty for forgetting, tell you that ‘i knew you are no different from other men’; mostly alluding to her old man. See?

What of a lady who grew up in a polygamous family and experienced firsthand the absence of a Dad figure? She may not hate men, not entirely, but will definitely not want to be in a polygamous family. Well, with the exception of course that the said dude features prominently in Forbes one freaking hundred rich as stink personalities!

Yesterday i happened to be some place where two ladies and two gents happened to be debating the polygamy issue:

Lady 1: Polygamous family? Eti me having a co-wife? Ef, over my dead body!

Lady 2: Yeah, am from a polygamous family and trust me, it sucks (rolling here yes).

Guy 1 (definitely from a polygamous outfit): Aaaiii, kwani what’s the issue with being a second wife. The important thing is being loved and provided for, right?

Lady 1 and 2 simultaneously: excuse me?!

Lady 2: I hate sharing, i wouldn’t share my man with another woman!

Guy 2 (the smooth operator): The elephant in the room here is “sharing” (here he indicates the quote marks in the air).

All ladies nod in unison. Guy 2 winks.

Lady 2: True story, can’t stand the thought of knowing that my husband is warming the bed of a co wife (she almost spits here) while am all cold and lonely at home. Not me! Hapana!

Lady 1: Ha, and the comparison game; “Honey why don’t you make orange juice like Halima?” Like seriously?

Guy 1: What if he saves you the trouble and buys a huge house where you all live together?

Lady 1: Eish, me and her in the same house? Damn, that’s even worse….especially if she is a noisy one! How do you think it feels seeing your hubby chuck from a co-wife’s room looking all tired and eish…….

Lady 2: But seriously, what’s wrong with you guys sticking to one wife? And don’t excuse yourselves with the crap about there being more women than men in the world!

Guy 2: well, it’s true, women are more than men….a lot of men died in World War 2 and we haven’t really ‘replenished’ that shortage!

Guy 1: Things change……..once you ladies enter motherhood you are no longer into sex!

Lady 2: Yes, i have heard of priority shift once the kids come along.

Guy 1: Exactly.

Lady 1: Still not a good enough reason to get another wife. Si you just remain with one and provide well for her?

Lady 2: The thing is, women are like fruits, they say; every woman is a different kind of fruit. Problem is, men want fruit salad!

Well, i left it at that but am pretty certain the ladies had much more to share as regards to their husbands having more than one wife.

Either way and jealous aside (ha, hard to get rid of this one!), shouldn’t a woman be safe and secure in the knowledge that the husband is at her co-wife’s place as opposed to being out there with random women?

I leave it at that!

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